The hugely successful social network may soon go public. So as a public service to potential investors, let’s learn more about Mark Zuckerberg’s company with the Top Facts About Facebook.
-It’s successfully replaced “a pair of binoculars and a windowless van” as the most effective way to ruthlessly stalk women.
-The janitor at their headquarters looks A LOT like that “Tom” dude from MySpace.
-As of 8:00 A.M. today, a game of “Words with Friends” still has yet to be played by someone with real-life friends.
-Apparently, our receptionist is convinced it was conceived specifically for her to post pictures of her cat dressed as a fireman.
-Trust me: All of your friends would immediately kill themselves if you didn’t treat them to riveting hourly updates like “Eating some mac and cheese, yo! LOL!!!”
-Even though your status says “single,” we all know it really means “lonely.”
-Whenever you “like” something, nobody gives a crap.
-To find out the number of REAL friends you have, take the number of Facebook friends you have and then subtract the number of Facebook friends you have.
-Mark Zuckerberg created Facebook as part of his secret plan to make everyone as socially awkward as he is.
-Your mom just joined and she saw that photo of you wearing leather at the Gay Pride Parade.
-It’s done more damage to productivity than all wars and disease combined.
-Since they work at Facebook, employees don’t really have a good way to waste time during the day.
February 1, 2012 at 8:01 am | KCAL Crew | No comment