Hype songs.  If you are a student, or family member of a student, at any of America’s great institutions of higher education, please please please learn this lesson and never forget it: NEVER MAKE A HYPE VIDEO!  EVER!!!

Anyway, the wholesome, pastyfaced young men and women of the University of Missourah decided to take their shot at a hype video this week, dropping a series of s-bombs (as in “screw red & blue”, not as in, well, never mind).

Congrats, Mizzou!  Welcome to the Hype Song Hall Of Fail.  Other glorious members after the jump.

Meet the strapping young men and women of the UCI athletics department.  Our favorite?  Clearly, the woman on the basketball team, who tried her best to hide behind the Anteater statute throughout her team’s appearance and the entire women’s golf team, who made it clear they were being held at figurative gunpoint during the filming of this monstrosity.

No.  It can’t be.  Kobe?!?!?  What were you thinking, Mamba?

From the Oops Department: the University of Georgia decided to ramp up for last season’s SEC Championship Game against LSU by running out some LS-Who? smack, complete with the requisite overwrought pasty people rapping with faux-ghetto accents and singling out Heisman Finalist Tyrann “Honey Badger” Mathieu for special treatment.

Final score: LSU 42 Georgia 10.  Game MVP: Honey Badger.

Perhaps, after wretching watching this, you’ll invite anyone you know from the state of Oregon to go Duck themselves.

Let’s kick it old school, dawg!  When others played Florida State in 1988, they had to be illin’, cause they knew the ‘Noles were chillin’!  Bonus: catch a very young Neon Deion Sanders and his funky fly moves.

Lest  you think only college kids can fall into the swirling vortex of fail, spend a minute to “enjoy” the Miami Heat’s current, uh, video.  Big ups to Shane Battier for the twin popped collars, or, as the ladies in da club call the look: The Double Douchebag.

And finally, on to a couple of non-hype videos that are way too humiliating to skip.  You’d think the buffoons future leaders of America at UGA would’ve passed on their hype video after they tried to yank this embarrassment off the internet, only to have people keep reposting it.

Say kids, if you think it might be embarrassing, DON’T PUT IT ON YOUTUBE!

And finally…the King!  Thanks to Appalachian State University – insert your own Deliverance joke here – this 2:17 masterpiece of suck is absolutely the worst thing to come out of a college music/video department ever.

And with that, we cordially invite you to destroy every camcorder you own – including the one in your phone – before someone you know is tempted to make a video.  Any video.

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January 30, 2012 at 5:02 pm | General Stupidity, KCAL Crew, Sports | No comment