We have a funny feeling that, unlike in the good old days, Chargers and Raiders players probably don’t hate each other. Hell, they probably winter in Cancun together after the season’s done. On the other hand, Chargers and Raiders fans still hate each other, though really, everyone’s cool…give or take the occasional biting off of an ear.
Here at 96-7 KCAL Rocks, we’re more civilized than that. We just run a bunch of smack and duck to avoid the return fire. Tomorrow, we’ll let a special guest have at the Chargers. For today, a few thoughts about Raider Nation, starting with an obvious question: What do you call a Raider fan in a three-piece suit?
Answer: The defendant.
That joke, of course, could apply to “legendary” Raider quarterback, JaMarcus Russell and his alleged fondness for purple drank. Oh sure, Raider fan, you can run out Ryan Leaf and his cavalcade of f-ups, but Charger fan will simply utter two words: Todd…Marijuanavich.
Let’s be blunt: Toddy Ballgame’s big problem was he just couldn’t understand what the term “rollout” really means.
No mention of the Raiders, of course, is complete without a discussion of the President of the General Partner, or whatever they’re calling him now, Al Davis. Not that A.D.’s getting up there, but when his doctor asked him for a stool sample, he sent over a pair of his tighty whities.
With six head coaches since the calendar hit 2000, his football sense [Javon Walker], however [J.P. Losman] remains [Daunte Culpepper three years too late] undeniable. That leads us to ask if you know what Al gets on his paycheck? That’s right: drool. Or oatmeal.
Seriously, Raider Nation, we already knew about the holding cell and mobile booking facility the Oakland PD brings to your home games – 45 arrests at one home game? Nice work! – but lobster at your tailgate?!?!?
For a more historical perspective, enjoy this opus from the days of the L.A. Raiders. Favorite line: “For a true Raider fan, a mixed drink is beer and whatever the guy next to you has in a brown paper bag, that he has been nice enough to offer you a slug of.”
Say, that reminds us. If four Raiders are riding in a car, who’s driving? Why, the police, of course.
Whatever. Seriously, what are the odds the day will end like this for Raider Fan?