The game is coming – and so are your buds. Here are a few tips to make your party a memorable one.
You better have a good TV. Preferably high definition. No rabbit ears, with one guy wrapped in foil standing on one leg with his arms out, please. Make sure everyone has a spot to park his caboose and a clear view of the television screen. Adjust the volume to drown out any unnecessary conversation.
Buy four times the amount of food and alcohol you need. Keep the food simple: wings, chips and salsa or dip. Let the women worry about the dips. No, not the ones watching the game. Keep the alcohol simple: beer. This is not the time or place to experiment with appletinis or some other chick drink.
Make damn sure your toilet is in perfect working order. It is going to get a ton of use. Stock up on toilet paper and keep the plunger handy just in case. Air freshener would be a bonus, but is not required.
Make sure there’s somewhere for the “drunk guy” to crash. You know the guy – the one who shaves his head and paints his entire body in team colors. This guy shouldn’t be out on the road under normal circumstances, much less after an entire evening of testosterone-fueled drinking games.
If your party still blows after following these tips – hopefully Fergie will have a “wardrobe malfunction.”