Remember a few years back when the bazillionaire owner of the Dallas Cowboys decided to whip out his… measurin’ stick and build a giant ass TV in his new stadium?  No foolin’, that thang is HUGE!  ‘Round about 50 yards across er somethin’ like that?

Well, not to be out-gadgeted, Charlotte Motor Speedway just got on the bull horn to announce they’re installin’ the biggest freakin’ TV ever assembled.  It’s that there screen in the photo up top, and it’s 200 feet wide and 180 feet tall.  Makes the new Kirstie Alley look like the old Kirstie Alley.  Makes my double-wide look like the outhouse behind it.  Makes Texas look like… well… a smaller version of Texas.  You git my point.

It weighs 165,000 pounds (insert another Kirstie Alley joke here), and the loonies that designed this thang had to build a halfa million pound frame justa hold the sucker up.  It will make its shiny new debut on May 21st at the NASCAR Sprint All Star Race, and be used at the Coca Cola 600 a week later.  It’ll be a mighty fine way to watch Jimmie Johnson smack a wall at 180 mph.

That’s all well and good, but I got me some better idears.  Fer starters, I’m hopin’ they break it in witha marathon of Dukes of Hazzard.  Yeeeehaw!  And imagine how awesome bass fishin’ on CMT would look on that thang.  Or that one show where they just show a bunch of stuff gettin’ blowed up.  Just think how much fun Duck Hunt would be.  WHOOOEEEE!  You could play from the grandstands across the track!  Let’s see you laugh at me now ya stupid hound!

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May 4, 2011 at 11:34 am | Entertainment News, General Stupidity, KCAL Crew, KCAL Rocks, NASCAR, News, Sports, Sports News | No comment