The halfa mile called Martinsville is older ‘n dirt, flatter ‘n Nebraska, and dang short, but that don’t mean you ain’t in fer a rollycoaster ride if ya race here. This past Sunday The Pretty Paperclip delivered the season’s first repeat offender, gave Little E hope fer tommorah, pissed off the reignin’ champ, and damn near killed the other Jr. on the track. Enuff jabberin’. Let’s git down to it.
I reckon after walkin’ away from Martinsville with another checkered, Happy Harvick should be happier than a fox in the hen house, but the real winner just mighta been Dale Jr. in the 88. Sure he finished first loser, but it’s the best showin’ he’s put up in forever, and he woulda won it if Harvick hadn’t put on a Superman cape and whupped out some heroics.
I can tell ya who DIDN’T win this weekend. Mr. 5 Time in the Lowe’s 48. After the NASCAR Smokeys dinged him fer speedin’ in the pits, he threw a hissy fit on the radio that had mamas coverin’ the little one’s ears. His Crew Chief Knaus joined in the temper tantrum and they both whined to them reporter folks for two straight days afterward. Well, at least ’till NASCAR showed ‘em the numbers and replayed the tape. Now both them boys are usin’ up the word ‘sorry’ like it’s goin’ outta style. You mean Jimmie ain’t perfect? Can’t be! Well, guess what? He ain’t, and that don’t hurt my feelings AT ALL. Gotta give him some credit though. If you ain’t cheatin’, you ain’t competin’.
I can tell ya, there was one guy just happy to be alive and kickin’ after this one. Martin Truex Jr. ended up less of a driver and more of a passenger when the gas pedal on his #56 got a little ornery and decided it wasn’t comin’ off the floor. The Napa Auto Parts missile tried to use Kahne’s Red Bull machine as brakes, but ended up sendin’ ‘em both hard into the wall instead. And if that ain’t enough to git yer ticker pumpin’, the car done decided to blow up. To quote our ol’ buddy KyBusch again, ‘THERE’S FLAMES IN MY FACE!’ Truex musta been sportin’ his lucky boxers ‘cuz he thought he was gonna die, but the Safer Barrier he hit was, well, safer than the concrete. Somebody owes them sciency folks at NASCAR a beer.
With 6 races in the pocket, Harvick is sittin’ pretty, but it’s still Rowdy Busch in the driver seat. Jimmie’s still sniffin’ around in 3rd, but that little speedin’ ticket mighta cost him a bit. Dale Jr. is in the Chase right now, as is Ol’ Man Martin. Tony, JG, and Denny are on the outside lookin’ in, and they better git her in gear if they wanna dance come October. Lucky fer them, they all know how to win in Texas. Tha’s right! Come Sunday we’ll be honky-tonkin’ in the Lone Star State. YEEHAW!