A gutsy move in the pits put Kyle in Victory Lane on Saturday, and Happy Harvick stole the Auto Club 400 checkers from the 48 with a ballsy power move outta Turn 4, but now NASCAR has hightailed it from the Golden State and I feel like a jilted lover. ¬†¬† Now don’t git me wrong, last weekend was a helluva shindig, but things didn’t exactly turn out the way Lefty was hopin’.
Fer starters, the weather was pitchin’ a fit all weekend and it had the track weepin’ like a widow.¬† Lucky fer them, this guy had his trusty circular saw handy fer a little asphalt meatball surgery.¬† Practice and qualifyin’ ran late, and by the time the Sprint Cup guys hit the track, it was still slick enough to send KyBusch into the tilt-a-whirl.¬† And the worst part?¬† Worrisome weather makes chicks dress like this insteada this.¬† Not cool, Mr. Meteorologist!
Saturday looked a bit better, and it was actually clearin’ up while I had my breakfast beer ’round 8AM.¬† 18 beers later and before ya knew it, it was flag droppin’ time.¬† SURPRISE!¬† Out comes Molly Ringwald.¬† No, not 80′s Molly.¬† It was THIS Molly.¬† I wouldn’t chase her outta bed, but we can all agree she was Prettier In Pink.¬† It did get me to reminiscin’ about my days in detention like that one movie, but I was a little less Molly and a little more Judd Nelson.
I digress (whatever the hell that means).¬† Back to the Nationwide racin’, so bring on the wrecks, right?¬† Nope.¬† Nothin’ but a few solo spins and a whole lotta politeness.¬† At least till the end when Kyle’s Crew Chief¬† Jason Ratcliff committed grand larceny and stole the victory with a 2 tire stop while Carl and Kevin took 4.¬† That makes the hat trick for Busch in the last 3 Nationwide races here, and 9 fer 9 for Joe Gibbs Racing.¬† Greedy bastards.
After doin’ a couple hundred 12 Ounce Curls and losin’ the rent check to 4orty in a Saturday night poker butt whoopin’, it was time to get my race face on fer Sunday’s Auto Club 400.¬† From the Boogity Boogity Boogity it was another typical Sunday drive in CA.¬† Even shavin’ 100 miles off the race wasn’t enough to prevent my mind from wanderin’ fer laps at a time.¬† Or maybe it was cuz my brain was swimmin’ in Budweiser.¬† You make the call.¬† The boys managed to end it with a bang, though.¬† JJ used some nifty drivin’ to put Kyle in the mirror and was showin’ the way home until Harvick pulled the straps tight and whipped out a wicked stunt in the final turn to win it.
Here’s the highlights:
Yippee skippee, but now it’s time fer my temper tantrum.¬† I was right about the 48 and Harvick playin’ hometown heroes, but I hate ‘em both, so that don’t make me feel no better.¬† I was also right about Denny disappointin’ when his engine done blowed up half way through.¬† Maybe he shoulda borrowed this quote from his teammate Kyle.¬† Makes it a bit embarrassin’ that I was rockin’ a FedEx jersey all day.¬† Fer some reason folks didn’t believe I’m just a big fan of shippin’ stuff.¬† Little E wasn’t as dismal as I predicted, but he didn’t show us nothin’ good either.¬† He’s probly just glad he finished.¬† All in all, I guessed pretty good, which still left me feelin’ like someone peed in my Cheerios.
And the final insult?¬† No more I.E. NASCAR fer Lefty this year.¬† I suppose I could raise a pinky and hobnob all hoity toity like when the boys come to Infineon in the wine country later this year.¬† Nah… they turn RIGHT on that road course.¬† Lefty’s not down with that.
Check in later this week an’ I’ll give ya a glimpse at the Martinsville Paperclip as NASCAR heads to Virginia and the shortest track on the circuit.