A gutsy move in the pits put Kyle in Victory Lane on Saturday, and Happy Harvick stole the Auto Club 400 checkers from the 48 with a ballsy power move outta Turn 4, but now NASCAR has hightailed it from the Golden State and I feel like a jilted lover. Â Â Now don’t git me wrong, last weekend was a helluva shindig, but things didn’t exactly turn out the way Lefty was hopin’.
Fer starters, the weather was pitchin’ a fit all weekend and it had the track weepin’ like a widow.Â Lucky fer them, this guy had his trusty circular saw handy fer a little asphalt meatball surgery.Â Practice and qualifyin’ ran late, and by the time the Sprint Cup guys hit the track, it was still slick enough to send KyBusch into the tilt-a-whirl.Â And the worst part?Â Worrisome weather makes chicks dress like this insteada this.Â Not cool, Mr. Meteorologist!
Saturday looked a bit better, and it was actually clearin’ up while I had my breakfast beer ’round 8AM.Â 18 beers later and before ya knew it, it was flag droppin’ time.Â SURPRISE!Â Out comes Molly Ringwald.Â No, not 80′s Molly.Â It was THIS Molly.Â I wouldn’t chase her outta bed, but we can all agree she was Prettier In Pink.Â It did get me to reminiscin’ about my days in detention like that one movie, but I was a little less Molly and a little more Judd Nelson.
I digress (whatever the hell that means).Â Back to the Nationwide racin’, so bring on the wrecks, right?Â Nope.Â Nothin’ but a few solo spins and a whole lotta politeness.Â At least till the end when Kyle’s Crew ChiefÂ Jason Ratcliff committed grand larceny and stole the victory with a 2 tire stop while Carl and Kevin took 4.Â That makes the hat trick for Busch in the last 3 Nationwide races here, and 9 fer 9 for Joe Gibbs Racing.Â Greedy bastards.
After doin’ a couple hundred 12 Ounce Curls and losin’ the rent check to 4orty in a Saturday night poker butt whoopin’, it was time to get my race face on fer Sunday’s Auto Club 400.Â From the Boogity Boogity Boogity it was another typical Sunday drive in CA.Â Even shavin’ 100 miles off the race wasn’t enough to prevent my mind from wanderin’ fer laps at a time.Â Or maybe it was cuz my brain was swimmin’ in Budweiser.Â You make the call.Â The boys managed to end it with a bang, though.Â JJ used some nifty drivin’ to put Kyle in the mirror and was showin’ the way home until Harvick pulled the straps tight and whipped out a wicked stunt in the final turn to win it.
Here’s the highlights:
Yippee skippee, but now it’s time fer my temper tantrum.Â I was right about the 48 and Harvick playin’ hometown heroes, but I hate ‘em both, so that don’t make me feel no better.Â I was also right about Denny disappointin’ when his engine done blowed up half way through.Â Maybe he shoulda borrowed this quote from his teammate Kyle.Â Makes it a bit embarrassin’ that I was rockin’ a FedEx jersey all day.Â Fer some reason folks didn’t believe I’m just a big fan of shippin’ stuff.Â Little E wasn’t as dismal as I predicted, but he didn’t show us nothin’ good either.Â He’s probly just glad he finished.Â All in all, I guessed pretty good, which still left me feelin’ like someone peed in my Cheerios.
And the final insult?Â No more I.E. NASCAR fer Lefty this year.Â I suppose I could raise a pinky and hobnob all hoity toity like when the boys come to Infineon in the wine country later this year.Â Nah… they turn RIGHT on that road course.Â Lefty’s not down with that.
Check in later this week an’ I’ll give ya a glimpse at the Martinsville Paperclip as NASCAR heads to Virginia and the shortest track on the circuit.