Surely you’ve enjoyed this NSFW video that Stu, Tiffany & Jimbo introduced to us on Tuesday. (And if not, you really need to – just don’t do it at work.) Assuming you’ve seen it you know two things: (1) honey badger don’t give a <bad word beginning with an s that we have to beep out on the radio> and (2) honey badger takes what he wants.
Kinda makes you wonder, don’t it? Are your Los Angeles Lakers really honey badgers? After all, they usually take what they want, and they clearly don’t give a <four-letter word we can’t say here either>. Just one problem…
Why didn’t the Lakers want to take either of the first two games of their playoff series with Dallas?
We have very little to say other than this: blowing a 16-point lead last night after making it obvious they can beat Dallas whenever they feel like it? That’s par for the course…assuming, of course, that the course has a par-16 9th hole like the one in the video up top.
And just like the PGA golfer starring in that video (who pulled $2 mil last year, by the way), the Lakers now find themselves in a lovely thicket. We assume they can hack their way out of the woods…if they get around to it.
In the meantime, perhaps the video after the jump will help.
And now for something completely trivial in the big picture of things. (Remember when another Lakers NBA threepeat seemed like an incredibly big deal? Okay, so it still matters – it just matters about infinity times less than far more consequential matters.)
That having been said, it’s time to climb back on the Los Angeles Lakers rollercoaster – here we go again! Four days after they got done giving the New Orleans Hornets far more hope than they deserved to have, please welcome this round’s special irritating guests: the Dallas Mavericks!
Here’s your chance to your chance to hang with Jimbo (and 4orty – like you care) and feel like a Los Angeles Laker. Y’see, we’re having a little get-together to watch the NFL Draft from 5-7pm at Johnny’s Tacos in Redlands. (Hit the link for a map.)
While we’re there, we’ll chill out with a tall cold one or three. Meanwhile, the Lakers will (we presume) be chilling out in New Orleans, where they may or may not feel compelled to impose their will on the Hornets and avoid a Game Seven in their first-round playoff series.
In addition to getting the answer to our “Will the Lakers care enough to avoid getting punk’d (Zenmaster’s words, not ours) tonight?” question, we’ll also find out answers to these conundrums:
They were behind the NBA 8-ball last night, urgently needing a huge Game 5 win…or else. Luckily, they finally pulled it together by using this wacky thing us working stiffs call “effort” and came away with a victory that might (or might not) turn around their post-season, which we kinda sorta figured would have them headed to the NBA Finals. What a relief!
How ’bout them Orlando Magic?
Oh. The Lakers? Yep, them too.
So, here we are in the middle of NBA Playoff Season, when every single loss sends the loser’s fans and local media into another round of OHMIGODENDOFTHEWORLDCATSANDDOGSLIVINGTOGETHER panic. With those gloomy skies outside, we need something to brighten our day.
The Lakers – shock! – have everybody not named 4orty freaking out. For us Kings hockey fans, last night’s √É¬ľberdisaster gave us horrific flashbacks to an arguably uglier tank job against St. Louis 13 years ago. The Dodgers? Hahahahaha – though we’re ecstatic to see Bud Selig finally decided to shove one of his size 12′s up Frank McCourt’s…never mind. So, where can we turn for a little sunshine? Jerry Sands mania? Naw. Howzabout…Anaheim – future home of SoCal’s third-worst basketball team and second hockey team that’s trailing 2-1 in its first round series, but also…
Your Los Angeles Angels of Wherever!
After six months of occasionally interesting and frequently dull basketball, the NBA playoffs begin today, meaning things are about to get interesting…in a couple weeks when the second round kicks off. As far as Round One goes, if any of the NBA’s Elite Eight teams don’t win their first round series, it’s time to back up the truck and make some serious changes.
So, taking a lesson from Your Los Angeles Lakers, who bring nothing but their best every single time they figure they might probably want to make sure they don’t have any regrets when the final whistle blows, we’re taking off a few games and humbly presenting our preview of…the next round of the NBA playoffs. Yesterday, we hit the Western Conference, so today we turn our attention to teams we don’t really care about until June.
Wednesday’s final regular season Lakers game captured their entire NBA season in 48 – okay, 53 – minutes. Urgently needing a win to avoid seeing their personal nemises from Portland in the first round and ceding homecourt advantage to Dallas in the second, they coasted to a 20-point fourth quarter lead over the horrifically bad Sacramento Kings of Anaheim. Then, they handed the game over to Sacto before a never-shoulda-been-allowed-to-happen three from Kobe got them to overtime with less than five seconds left. Then, they coasted in overtime.
Anyway, we figured that if the Lakers aren’t going to take every game seriously, why should we? So, bearing in mind that from midseason on, it’s been brutally apparent that the eight best NBA teams are light years ahead of the rest of the league, join us as we blow off the first two weeks of the playoffs and take a look at the second round, where things are guaranteed to get interesting, meaning the Lakers might wake up by then.
Here’s what we’re looking at in the Western Conference come the first week of May:
Don’t worry. We have no idea which Lakers team will show up tonight either.
It feels like it was just yesterday – assuming you’re suffering from second-hand Stu and think “yesterday” means five days before Halloween – when the Lakers were beginning their first eight-game winning streak of the season by winning Game #1 against Houston. Things slowed down after they opened the season 13-2, but they’re on a roll again, winning 17 of 23 since the All-Star game. (Note for the uninitiated: this is extreme sarcasm.)
Finish with a couple more wins, and they’ll be the #2 seed in the West. What could go wrong now? After all, the Lakers have never lost six, much less seven games in a row since acquiring Pau. (Of course, until Sunday, they’d never lost five straight either.)
Last Sunday, we were sitting around getting ready for the Lakers-Nuggets game when, knowing Our Heroes were about to win their 10th in a row. We decided to get a little jump on matters, so we started writing about how the 16-Time World Champions were closing in on doing the impossible and catching San Antonio for top playoff seed in the West, coming from seven games down with 12 to go.
What we meant to say was that the Spurs would lock up homecourt advantage within four days, which they kinda sorta did last night.