I got this text message on April 14th: “Today’s the 150th anniversary of the Civil War. I bet you picked the Confederacy to win.”
Who would send me crap like that? Howzabout somebody I’ve been friends with somebody since Stu was 30 years old. Somebody who works right here at this very radio station. Somebody who seems like a really mellow person. Somebody who desperately needs to take a chill pill. A really big chill pill.
A little help here…how do I shut Kelli Cluque up?
Here’s the rest of the story…
Shortly after we heard the greatest news Dodger fans have gotten since October 1988 – you were taking control of the Los Angeles Dodgers from the buffoon that is Frank McCourt – we saw it, the ultimate buzzkill. The news item that made chills run down our spine. Interested in getting his mitts on the Dodgers is none other than…Steve Garvey. We about hurled.
Yeah yeah yeah – we know. Great first baseman. NL record playing streak. Mr. Dependable and Wholesome. A future U.S. Senator. How could we diss Garv? Have you forgotten? He’s America’s Sweetheart…right?!?!?
We don’t want to bring you problems without a solution, Bud, and we know we can trust you to make sure the team is sold to somebody responsible. That’s why we’ve compiled a brief list of possible new owners for the Dodgers. Get a load of these – any of them would be far better than our old pal, #6. Howzabout…
Here’s your chance to your chance to hang with Jimbo (and 4orty – like you care) and feel like a Los Angeles Laker. Y’see, we’re having a little get-together to watch the NFL Draft from 5-7pm at Johnny’s Tacos in Redlands. (Hit the link for a map.)
While we’re there, we’ll chill out with a tall cold one or three. Meanwhile, the Lakers will (we presume) be chilling out in New Orleans, where they may or may not feel compelled to impose their will on the Hornets and avoid a Game Seven in their first-round playoff series.
In addition to getting the answer to our “Will the Lakers care enough to avoid getting punk’d (Zenmaster’s words, not ours) tonight?” question, we’ll also find out answers to these conundrums:
Ding dong! The ding dong damaging the Dodgers is (almost) dead!!!!! By the way, how great is it to see this story on the Dodgers’ own website? How to celebrate? Hmm…we could have a Rosie Red Dance Party! (Watch the video – it’s the lamest two minutes of TV ever.)
So, here we are in the middle of NBA Playoff Season, when every single loss sends the loser’s fans and local media into another round of OHMIGODENDOFTHEWORLDCATSANDDOGSLIVINGTOGETHER panic. With those gloomy skies outside, we need something to brighten our day.
The Lakers – shock! – have everybody not named 4orty freaking out. For us Kings hockey fans, last night’s Ã¼berdisaster gave us horrific flashbacks to an arguably uglier tank job against St. Louis 13 years ago. The Dodgers? Hahahahaha – though we’re ecstatic to see Bud Selig finally decided to shove one of his size 12′s up Frank McCourt’s…never mind. So, where can we turn for a little sunshine? Jerry Sands mania? Naw. Howzabout…Anaheim – future home of SoCal’s third-worst basketball team and second hockey team that’s trailing 2-1 in its first round series, but also…
Your Los Angeles Angels of Wherever!
Man, you gotta respect Coco Crisp for not only having one of the coolest names in sports, but also for bringing back the classic “full Afro under the cap” look that we haven’t seen in baseball for decades!
Two weeks after the single worst opening day in Los Angeles Dodgers history – Brian Stow donation fund details here – we’ve more or less worked up the stomach to talk about the product the team has been putting on the field.
It isn’t exactly scintillating, now is it? In fact, it’s about as downright meh as baseball gets, starting with the team’s 6-6 record so far. At this point, the only exciting things on a day Clayton Kershaw isn’t pitching are: (1) Andre Ethier at the plate, (2) Matt Kemp running the bases (or at the plate), and (3) Jonathan Broxton playing with fire in the 9th inning.
Here’s what we know about the Medium-Sized Blue Non-Wrecking Crew so far:
America’s least-favorite baseball cheat, Barry Bonds, has been found guilty on one count of obstructing justice today.
As to the three counts of perjury he was charged with, the judge will declare a mistrial due to a hung jury. Kind of ironic, doncha think? Considering what the ‘roids would have done to his…never mind.
Gotta respect the kid for standing up for his principles…
You don’t have to drive very far at all to see some great baseball. We have four minor league teams and they all have their opening night tonight. Pending the weather – which I would think the games would be rain delayed rather than postponed – take the family out for local, great entertainment.
After the jump, I’ll give you the links to preview your closest team and how you can buy tickets, and – special bonus – I’ll give you the new major league affiliations for our Inland Empire teams.
For the second time in one week, it’s time for baseball but this is OUR baseball. Get out and enjoy!