So, here we are in the middle of NBA Playoff Season, when every single loss sends the loser’s fans and local media into another round of OHMIGODENDOFTHEWORLDCATSANDDOGSLIVINGTOGETHER panic. With those gloomy skies outside, we need something to brighten our day.
The Lakers – shock! – have everybody not named 4orty freaking out. For us Kings hockey fans, last night’s Ã¼berdisaster gave us horrific flashbacks to an arguably uglier tank job against St. Louis 13 years ago. The Dodgers? Hahahahaha – though we’re ecstatic to see Bud Selig finally decided to shove one of his size 12′s up Frank McCourt’s…never mind. So, where can we turn for a little sunshine? Jerry Sands mania? Naw. Howzabout…Anaheim – future home of SoCal’s third-worst basketball team and second hockey team that’s trailing 2-1 in its first round series, but also…
Your Los Angeles Angels of Wherever!
Man, you gotta respect Coco Crisp for not only having one of the coolest names in sports, but also for bringing back the classic “full Afro under the cap” look that we haven’t seen in baseball for decades!
Two weeks after the single worst opening day in Los Angeles Dodgers history – Brian Stow donation fund details here – we’ve more or less worked up the stomach to talk about the product the team has been putting on the field.
It isn’t exactly scintillating, now is it? In fact, it’s about as downright meh as baseball gets, starting with the team’s 6-6 record so far. At this point, the only exciting things on a day Clayton Kershaw isn’t pitching are: (1) Andre Ethier at the plate, (2) Matt Kemp running the bases (or at the plate), and (3) Jonathan Broxton playing with fire in the 9th inning.
Here’s what we know about the Medium-Sized Blue Non-Wrecking Crew so far:
America’s least-favorite baseball cheat, Barry Bonds, has been found guilty on one count of obstructing justice today.
As to the three counts of perjury he was charged with, the judge will declare a mistrial due to a hung jury. Kind of ironic, doncha think? Considering what the ‘roids would have done to his…never mind.
Gotta respect the kid for standing up for his principles…
We proudly salute the Padres’ Mat Latos, who’s been signing baseballs this way.
Boyohboyohboy. Baseball’s opening day is here, and the Dodgers’ hated rivals, the ‘Frisco Giants are in town. Better still, they’re the defending World Champs, and they’re going to show us! They want to fly a “Beat L.A!” banner over Chavez!!!
Are you bothered by this? We’re not.
Look, the last time the Giants won a World Series, they were playing in New York. Stu was a fetus. At their present rate, they’ll win another one when Stu is 111. (And you thought he turned 111 a couple centuries ago, didn’t you?) So, go for it, guys! After all, you probably weren’t alive for your last big win, and if they win another Series in your lifetime, you’ll probably be eating nothing but applesauce and wearing a drool cup on your chin by the time it happens again.
We’re a divided Empire – half of us represent Dodger Blue, and the other half wear Angels Red. Those of us who are Dodger fans definitely respect the good thing the Angels have going. Let’s see: you have the best owner in baseball, standing in contrast to the formerly married buffoons who own the Dodgers. You have the best manager in baseball…who shoulda been wearing blue all these years.
Then, there was that little matter of winning their division five out of six years, and being serious playoff threats ever single time, until that little oopsie last year. Things have to be better this year…right?
Surely you’ve heard the saying, “We had to burn the village in order to save it.” When involving actual villages, it’s a pretty messed up saying. When involving the Dodgers 2011 season, it’s probably a pretty good assessment of the State Of The Blue.
If you – like yours truly – are a Dodgers fan, there’s one thing (besides keeping Vin Scully around for as long as he wants to postpone retirement) that matters more than anything – anything – else: not keeping the McCourt family – any of them – around for one more freaking second than absolutely necessary.
Most of us on the KCAL Crew love us some baseball. Stu and Kelli are huge Dodger fans. Jimbo? He still reps his hometown Chisox. Daryl, sick bastard that he is, is mostly about the Yankees. Even though they own his Yanks, Daryl has a soft sport for the Angels too. Later on, we’ll introduce you to our favorite Angels fan, our computer guy and resident fantasy baseball geek, Gentle Ben.
The start of baseball season means our favorite season – summer – is just around the corner. That, amigo, is reason for serious celebration. Part of the fun of baseball season is also the this little fact: When you take 25 money- and hormone-greased male athletes on the road for a total of about three months over a six-month season, stuff happens.
We get down to serious baseball talk – well, as serious as the KCAL Crew gets – tomorrow. For now, let’s set the stage for the mayhem that will ensue. For instance…