Brother, can you spare a dime roughly $150 million to fill up this wallet?
We’re shocked! Shocked, we tell you!!! Canya believe that Frank actually went to McCourt – in Delaware, no less – to put the Dodgers in bankruptcy today? Wanna see the whole document? It’s right here, y’all.
Here’s the “fun” part: reading the list of Dodger creditors, which includes Manny (again – shocking!), Andruw Jones, Kaz Ishii (Remember him?), Juan Pierrewood, Marquis Grissom (Two seasons in blue nine years ago, and they owe him too?), and…Vin Scully!
It didn’t work out for Jordan, but if this O.C. resident can hit the curveball…
While their neighbors to the north were dropping two of three to a team that had lost 11 of its last 13, Your Los Angeles Angels Of Wherever are living out their own less gloomy version of June Gloom. They may not be playing particularly well at the moment, but the beauty of being in the only division more hideous than the NL West is that the Halos could lose nine of 11 and still find themselves only three games out of first place.
Now if they could just work out this hitting thing…
The bottom line is this: if Bud Selig doesn’t approve the Fox TV contract with the Dodgers – the one that gives Frank McCourt a big upfront payout that he can use to bankrupt the team’s future pay the bills,the settlement is toast, and Major League Baseball would probably seize the team completely and sell it.
If The Commish approves the Fox deal, then there will be a one-day trial to determine whether the Dodgers are Frank’s property or Frank’s & Jamie’s community property. If Frank loses that one, he probably has to sell the team to pay off Jamie.
In the rest of the country, summer starts with Memorial Day weekend. Here in Southern California, where the calendar and the weather are actually on speaking terms, we enjoy that festive monthlong tradition: June Gloom. And what a gloomy – or blue, if you prefer – month it’s been in Dodgerville.
After today’s Stanley Cup Finals Game 7, it’s officially all baseball all the time in SoCal sports, and – well – ick. Matters in Chavez haven’t quite devolved into watching Matt Kemp, Andre Ethier, and Clayton Kershaw while averting your eyes when any of the other 22 guys wearing blue takes center stage, but we’re getting there quickly.
Bats are slowing, Jered Weaver is, relatively speaking, cooling off, and the Halos are mired in second place a whole game back of Texas. Compared to the Dodgers’ dazzling demise, that’s obviously nothing, but the signs aren’t entirely promising down in the O.C. either.
How ’bout them Dodgers? After a not quite promising, but not awful, start, the inevitable collapse has begun. Now balling at a torrid .431 clip, the blue have lost nine of their last 12 games, most in predictably brutal fashion, and are mired in 4th place in the NL West, ahead of only the impoverished San Diego Padres, who can at least make their payroll.
The three game series that wrapped up yesterday in Houston about said it all, featuring one bullpen collapse, one near-collapse in which the road nine escaped by the skin of their too-cheap-to-pay-for-help teeth, and a particularly toothless offensive effort that should have resulted in a win.
At least it’s not like they were playing the worst team in the National League. Oh, they were? Never mind.
I got this text message on April 14th: “Today’s the 150th anniversary of the Civil War. I bet you picked the Confederacy to win.”
Who would send me crap like that? Howzabout somebody I’ve been friends with somebody since Stu was 30 years old. Somebody who works right here at this very radio station. Somebody who seems like a really mellow person. Somebody who desperately needs to take a chill pill. A really big chill pill.
A little help here…how do I shut Kelli Cluque up?
Here’s the rest of the story…
Shortly after we heard the greatest news Dodger fans have gotten since October 1988 – you were taking control of the Los Angeles Dodgers from the buffoon that is Frank McCourt – we saw it, the ultimate buzzkill. The news item that made chills run down our spine. Interested in getting his mitts on the Dodgers is none other than…Steve Garvey. We about hurled.
Yeah yeah yeah – we know. Great first baseman. NL record playing streak. Mr. Dependable and Wholesome. A future U.S. Senator. How could we diss Garv? Have you forgotten? He’s America’s Sweetheart…right?!?!?
We don’t want to bring you problems without a solution, Bud, and we know we can trust you to make sure the team is sold to somebody responsible. That’s why we’ve compiled a brief list of possible new owners for the Dodgers. Get a load of these – any of them would be far better than our old pal, #6. Howzabout…
Here’s your chance to your chance to hang with Jimbo (and 4orty – like you care) and feel like a Los Angeles Laker. Y’see, we’re having a little get-together to watch the NFL Draft from 5-7pm at Johnny’s Tacos in Redlands. (Hit the link for a map.)
While we’re there, we’ll chill out with a tall cold one or three. Meanwhile, the Lakers will (we presume) be chilling out in New Orleans, where they may or may not feel compelled to impose their will on the Hornets and avoid a Game Seven in their first-round playoff series.
In addition to getting the answer to our “Will the Lakers care enough to avoid getting punk’d (Zenmaster’s words, not ours) tonight?” question, we’ll also find out answers to these conundrums:
Ding dong! The ding dong damaging the Dodgers is (almost) dead!!!!! By the way, how great is it to see this story on the Dodgers’ own website? How to celebrate? Hmm…we could have a Rosie Red Dance Party! (Watch the video – it’s the lamest two minutes of TV ever.)