In mere hours, our long footballless national nightmare will end. Exactly seven days before the NFL returns for reals, college ball kicks off tonight. Even with a concert by Kid Rock and two bands you don’t care about, followed by a throwdown between the last two Super Bowl Champs, college ball starts better. Much better.
Why? Ramifications. Whoever loses that Packers-Saints game will be down a tiebreaker that might matter when we get to January. When Saturday is done, two national title contenders will just about be toast.
Intrigued? Here’s what you need to know to dive into warmup weekend before the big boys get started next week.
Ever hear how totally bizarre and over-the-top high school football is in Texas? We got a taste last year when we went to this place – a high school football stadium complete with luxury boxes. The halftime show was half an hour long and featured this nationally-ranked (really) high school marching band that about half the school participates in. A couple thousand people left the stadium after the halftime show. Seriously.
We won’t even discuss the football game except to say that it was pretty amazing watching our buddy’s entire family melt down when the home team lost its homecoming game. Insane only begins to describe the experience.
Well…at least until you watch this video. Leave your own one-word description for it in the comments section.
As the old saying goes, if you’re not cheating, you’re not trying. And, well, the ‘Canes have (allegedly) been trying really, really hard for the last decade! Where to start? Where to start?
Howzabout with the ringleader who paid for the whole dealybob? His name is Nevin Shapiro, and he’s currently doing 20 years after pleading guilty to running an $880 million ponzi scheme. Bro – way to aim high, though Bernie Madoff laughs at your puny efforts!
Hey Ladies: It looks like Tiger Woods is free this weekend. The nice people at the PGA Championship – the final major of the year – won’t be needing his talents this weekend.
Things have changed since the last time Tiger won. Check it out. Just don’t bring your iPad – they haven’t been invented yet.
Okay, so it takes a lot to get us interested in golf. Y’know, something like a lineup of all of Tiger Woods’ skanks. Or maybe a good grudge match between Tiger and his jilted…caddy.
For the uninitiated, Steve Williams has been caddying for golf’s favorite manslut for about a dozen years. When Tiger got hurt a while ago, he gave Williams permission to fill in for a while for another golfer, Adam Scott. Then he fired him. Not that Stevie was p.o.ed, but we got to enjoy this 71 seconds of rage, complete with lack of respect, scandal, two wasted years, and general jiltedness.
It was nothing less than heart-wrenching listening to Stu, Tiffany & Jimbo this morning, particularly when they did KCAL Sports Stu at 5:50. So profound was Jimbo’s heartache, you could almost hear the tears dribbling off his microphone as he struggled to hold it together.
After all, Randy Moss, the only true love of his life (besides himself, of course), is done. (Until he unretires, anyway.) Join us now as we take a look at Jimbo’s ongoing experience with the five stages of grieving.
If you’re going to wear a mascot costume and mess with little kids this weekend, remember to wear a cup under that costume, partner!
Checking in with Southern California’s real major league baseball outfit, we find your Los Angeles Angels of Wherever are in a really interesting place as the major league tradeline approaches on Sunday.
It’s called second place…in a league where the Wild Card is going to whoever finishes second in the East. They’re too good to break up, but they’re probably not good enough to win the race. In other words, welcome to purgatory.
When they get done celebrating Ervin Santana’s No-No, the Angels to figure out a way to move on up on the West Side. Just one thing: there’s no easy way for them to do it.
Juan Uribe’s soul is filled with melancholy dejection.
When the 2011 season began, we figured things would be ugly in Dodgertown. We’re sure, however, that we didn’t expect this level of misery and angst. How bad is it? Well, while the Blue are struggling to avoid the NL West cellar, everyone’s favorite punching bags, the Pittsburgh Pirates are leading the NL Central.
It’s enough to make Tommy Lasorda stop bleeding blue and go goth, bleed black, and mourn the fact that life in Chavez Ravine is full of pain, nothing but pain, dark depressing nothingness that eats your soul.
Not that our anti-hero, Frankrupt, the Robert Smith of baseball owners, has totally blown this thing, but while the budgetless, clueless Bucs are on top of their division, the Blue are a dozen games below .500 and sinking like a stone.
From the ESPYs. Don’t miss our own Ron Ron Metta Metta’s contribution to this gem. Oh, and after seeing this, we’re dumping Ask Jimbo in favor of Ask Tyson Chandler.