As y’all know by now, 96-7 KCAL Rocks is all about helpin’ a fella in need, but this one hits especially close to Ol’ Lefty’s heart, so I’m askin’ for a favor from my fellow NASCAR fans. If ya don’t know it yet, Alabama and much of the South took a serious whoopin’ from Ma Nature in the form of some wicked twisters this week. Most of Tuscaloosa looks like the picture above, and our buddies at the Red Cross are ready to git ‘er done, but they need the cash.
That’s where we come in. You can wander on over to redcross.org and toss in a few bucks, or if ya know a fellow gear head down that direction, send ‘em over to ‘Dega for an awesome opportunity.
Along witha hefty donation of $100,000 already, Talladega Superspeedway is lettin’ people take their own wheels out on the track for a few hot laps at just $50 a pop. Here’s all the info and such. So tell yer kin down South to tune up that Hemi and git ready to haul some tail on the biggest track in NASCAR. It will git yer heart pumpin, and send some much needed relief to our brothers and sisters in need. Ya may not always be screamin’ for the same guy on Sunday, but race fans are family, and they’d do the same fer us.
Thanks fer listenin’ and keepin’ ‘em in your thoughts.
I hear enough ’bout Jimmie Johnson every Sunday of FOX from DeeDubya, but if y’all feel like an extra dose of JJ on the ol’ squawk box, tune in to FOX Wednesday night at 9:30PM ET or whenever that schedule thingy on yer cable box says “Breaking In” is startin’. Jimmie With An “I-E” is tryin’ his hand at actin’, and if his previous commercial advertisements tell ya anythin’, it ain’t gonna end good. But, accordin’ to this here article, the fancy pants star actor Christian Slater gave Mr. 5 Time “rave reviews”. As far as I’m concerned that’s just proof that he was terrible, but that’s just cuz I think Slater is a wussy fer runnin’ away and cryin’ in that Robin Hood movie with Kevin “My Only Good Movies Are About Baseball” Costner. Which I only watched cuz I was courtin’ a young lady and bein’ all romantic and such. If I was in that movie I woulda popped Robin Hood in the FACE! But I digress…
Now just in case ya think Lefty ain’t bein’ fair on Little Jimmie, you should know that I ain’t EVER fair to Little Jimmie. Why? Cuz I hate him, that’s why. I hate him cuz of this, this, this, this, and especially this, but it probly has the most to do with the fact the Missus gits all hot ‘n bothered every time he’s on the darn television. Damn you and your super-hero-underwear-model-best-driver-ever perfection, Jimmie. Give us normal folk a chance!
It’s been a darn tootin’ minute since Ol’ Lefty has had much to say about NASCAR, but this is ‘Dega, and we don’t ignore Talladega ’round these parts. The best (and worst) thing to ever happen to my beloved NASCAR was called Talladega Nights, and it was all because of this race. If ya watched on Sunday, then ya know why this track is the 2nd home of stock car racin’.
It ain’t just a big honkin’ donut of tar, it’s also the fastest track on Mother Earth. Before them boys in the scoring tower decided to muck with the engines, a guy named Rusty Wallace clicked off a lap at 216 miles per hour. It’s the longest circuit in the series at 2.66 miles, and somebody forgot the measurin’ tape when they painted the stripe cuz the finish line ain’t in the middle where it belongs. Ain’t no big deal, right? Wrong, but I’ll learn ya that lesson in a bit. For now, just remember that ‘Dega brings out the best from the cars.
The halfa mile called Martinsville is older ‘n dirt, flatter ‘n Nebraska, and dang short, but that don’t mean you ain’t in fer a rollycoaster ride if ya race here. This past Sunday The Pretty Paperclip delivered the season’s first repeat offender, gave Little E hope fer tommorah, pissed off the reignin’ champ, and damn near killed the other Jr. on the track. Enuff jabberin’. Let’s git down to it.
I reckon after walkin’ away from Martinsville with another checkered, Happy Harvick should be happier than a fox in the hen house, but the real winner just mighta been Dale Jr. in the 88. Sure he finished first loser, but it’s the best showin’ he’s put up in forever, and he woulda won it if Harvick hadn’t put on a Superman cape and whupped out some heroics.
A gutsy move in the pits put Kyle in Victory Lane on Saturday, and Happy Harvick stole the Auto Club 400 checkers from the 48 with a ballsy power move outta Turn 4, but now NASCAR has hightailed it from the Golden State and I feel like a jilted lover. Now don’t git me wrong, last weekend was a helluva shindig, but things didn’t exactly turn out the way Lefty was hopin’.
Fer starters, the weather was pitchin’ a fit all weekend and it had the track weepin’ like a widow. Lucky fer them, this guy had his trusty circular saw handy fer a little asphalt meatball surgery. Practice and qualifyin’ ran late, and by the time the Sprint Cup guys hit the track, it was still slick enough to send KyBusch into the tilt-a-whirl. And the worst part? Worrisome weather makes chicks dress like this insteada this. Not cool, Mr. Meteorologist!
Now go READ MORE and ya might find yerself another half-nekked picture of Danica Patrick!
The hauler parade survived a wet trip out west on the 10 and we’re ready for some racin’ at the Auto Club Speedway in Fontucky. This year’s edition is a one-uva-kind cuz our grinchy friends at NASCAR took away the fall race, and it’s only 400 miles instead of 500 now. That’s 50 less laps fer me to drink beer and boo Jeff Gordon every time he goes by, and since I can’t afford the American-Made Ethenol to haul my butt cross-country fer every race, I’m gonna havta make this weekend EPIC!
You should know NASCAR’s stompin’ ground in So Cal by now, and if ya don’t, SHAME ON YOU, but just in case you were a bit tipsy and don’t recall the stats, here’s the nitty gritty on the track we know and love. It’s a giant 2 mile ‘D’ with low bankin’ in the turns which qualifies it as a Super Speedway. That means cars go really really fast here. On Sunday, you’ll see ‘em hummin’ into turn 1 at near 200 MPH, but they better git it whoa’d up quick to avoid leavin’ their sponsor on the safer barrier. The asphalt is also hella wide, and it’s the only track you’ll see ‘em 5 wide on the front stretch. It doesn’t always end well, but lucky fer us, it’s the Auto Club Speedway, so there’s plenty of wreckers to go around. Now, where did I put that card?
The haulers headed to Thunder Valley this past weekend and the ‘World’s Fastest Conveyor Belt’ left a few tempers flarin’ and some ruffled feathers. At the end of the day it was Rowdy Busch doin’ the victory dance, but first, a little track history…
While I was enjoyin’ my breakfast beer, that there Twitter doohickey started goin’ all crazy with a story from Jim Utter of The Charlotte Observer about The Biff and a plane…
The Kobalt Tools 400 is history. It ended with a back flip in the front stretch and left a few of the fellers wishin’ they had stayed outta Sin City. It was a rough day if yer name starts with K, no repeatin’ for the Rainbow Warriors, and victory went up in SMOKE for the 14. Now that don’t mean there weren’t no rays of sunshine on Sunday, so let’s git to it. Keep readin’ for all the dirt.
NASCAR is takin’ the one ring circus to Sin City and it’s gonna be one helluva hootinanny! Wicked fast racin’, lots of passin’, and plenty of agression. I’ve got yer keys to victory lane, but the boys are gonna have to gamble a bit to get it. Keep readin’ fer more!